yep. so that was it. end of excitement, everything goes back to normal. stuff like this just fizzles and dies out after a short period of time and ends up blending into your life like it has always been there.

so. normal blogging then.

oweek. programmes booklet, done. ticket, done. logistics, almost done. dean's evening.........

music. detailed programme list. individual responsibilities. pageant stuff. oweek video. stuff and logos to prepare on live projection. pageant tags. sms voting coordination.

hell i still have lots to do.

this july feels really long. so bored i decided to dig up whatever i found forwarded to my hotmail. so cut and paste.


We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Sometimes these are represented by

:-)

:-(

Well, how about some "ASSICONS?"
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular ass

(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass

(_*_) a sore ass

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_) kiss my ass

(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass

(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass

(_?_) Dumb Ass

once the excitement washes out and leaves an empty shell behind, you can't help but wonder if it all happened in the face of competition.

no expectation. no expectation. no expectation.

hopefully that'll work.


i'm being paranoid. haha.

LIST OF THINGS TO DO

1) Programmes booklet
- sponsor logos
- still waiting for final notes to put in. i need this to go out for printing soon!!!

2) Dean's evening
- manpower allocation
- everything else (thanks katie darling for working so hard. think i'd have died if you were'nt around.

3) Pageant coordination
- topshop sponsors
- sms voting issue
- food
- rehearsals

4) Logistics
- bus chartering. need to confirm asap as well
- food. i hope danny has sent out the email.
- drinks. gonna settle this tml.

5) Dean's evening performance
- need a hell lot of practice

6) Jam and Hop

7) My apparel business
- no details but just a hell lot of work to do for that.

8) i know i missed out something i'm supposed to do, but there's just too much that i really cant remember. i hope its not a very important thing or i'm so gonna be screwed.


CHERYL IS FREAKING STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but at least, thank god for you. that's the only thing keeping me sane now.

yep. just got to my grandma's place after prayers. thank god my cousin replied his sms... if not i'll just be rotting at my grandma's. muaha.

hmm, the K810i has really short battery life. haha.. thats not a good sign for me.

online with my mushi now. its really ironic. its like, my leaving church didnt seem to matter at all until everyone else left church. simply put, coming to talk to me now only gives me the impression ecf's trying to pull back whoever they can.
no way man. way too hypocritical. sorry if it doesnt sound nice but that's how it comes across. hopefully a new church would be different. cuz i still believe in God. just cant stand the human nature and church politics.

ah well... i'm outta there so it doesnt matter. i'm not going back. went back too many times and been disappointed as many times. maybe thats why i lost faith for a while too.

now? we'll see how things go then.

its amazing how things change in a matter of days. a few days ago, i still didnt know what to do with my life. Nothing was for sure, and life was just aimless and dependant on other things.

i prayed, and God gave me an answer. Maybe that explains the sudden change of perspective. i couldnt really believe it myself, but guess this is how God works.

John 15:7
If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

and within that day, God gave me you. So i thank Christ Jesus that he opened my eyes from darkness to light, and showed me you.

thanks for having been there all along through my darkest hours and never giving up on me. =)

nothing much to say. just lotsa pictures!



The beautiful nice people!! Alex, royston. me, emelind, peggy and JK!!



funny faces, but still looking good!



the guys in the pool! with alot of naked kids running around...



lovely scenery at vivo!



coffee jointers!



taken after the show: me, emelind and peggy!!



we love funny faces!



commencement dinner : YY, yongz and kenny!



this time with me in the pics!



cheers! drank quite a bit of red wine that night... :p



lydia and me!



ELame!!

Life opens up many opportunities on the way. its really a matter of how you look at each chance u're given. some take those chances, others leave it to eternal remorse.

Life has given me my fair share of opportunities, and til now, i've never regretted any of my decisions. Particularly now. never been as happy as the last few days for a long time already.

what happened over the past year, especially in the last few months has opened up lots to me. and i treasure what i have now. i never thought life could still hold this much meaning for me til now. and i'm really really glad.

나는 행복하다신 저를 주었다마빈.

discovered that BD actually has a really really cute character. haha. totally irresistible!!

status update:

a surging feeling of joy and anticipation, and its snowballing and unstoppable.
i know i'll be smiling even in my sleep. thats how much life means to me right now.

haha. apologies about the angry post. was too pissed off to think properly at that time. seriously thinking about it, no point being pissed for too long. forgive and forget i guess. hopefully it goes the same for the other party. cuz there comes a time when its just no point pissing each other off and just having negative feelings all the time.
so there.. let go and it feels so much better. dun wanna become too caught up in this political frenzy either. :) so yepz. no hard feelings anymore. not that i'll take the initiative to strike up random conversations, but at least i'm not gonna have feelings of dislike. just neutral.

other stuff, i dunno. lots lately, just dunno where to start from. some things gotta go. and just one thing that brightened up my day. :)

7-11 would have sounded better, but guess thats not a really big issue. :p haha.

of all things that pissed me off today, i'll try to forget about it. but dont ever try step on my toes or i promise you i wont let it go.

back to daddy. he's been totally sweet nowadays. big change... i wonder if its cuz turning 21 really means freedom. or maybe its the incident with my sis.

either way, guess he realised u can never keep your children on too tight a leash.
been coming home pretty late these days but he wasnt anywhere near what he used to be. the last time i checked, i had an 8pm curfew. and now, i just got home. time report: 1.10am.

but then again, he knew about my rehearsal today so that probably didnt really count.
haha. his comment on the job was oh you get paid for doing catwalks? do they want me?

lmaoz. dad can be pretty cool about everything when he wants to be. about the business too. it used to be so hard to get his support but now i have full support in everything! lovin it!

hmmm... he suggested i take up NOC to shanghai even though its for a year. then again, shanghai is nearer to shenzhen than singapore. haha. now i'm in a dilemma. NOC? or just SEP?

i do love my mum too. this post is not just about dad.

FINALLY CHANGED MY BLOGSKIN!!!

and with special thanks to xiao hong and FP! thanks for the problem-solving tutorials!!

other news, saw tong wei at the nomura equity cocktail yesterday while working.
super happy to see her cuz she's the only person i knew there. kinda intimidating talking to all the big shots but its a start at learning to network.


Status update:
munching on salad.

mum's been feeding me lotsa salads lately. its either a health freak issue or she's just reading too much about modelling.

hah. met up the gang last night. quite cool...cuz rod's back!!! with a funky new hairstyle. oh my.. didnt recognise him at all la. see what exchange in africa did to him! plus, new addition to the gang, guang hua.. apparently my senior in bizad but i have never seen him before!!! anywayz, so long never see them and kena suan by the 5 guys la! irritating... then gs had to go recount how we all got to know each other. exaggerate like crazy la that guy!!!! sian. just being present gave them the liberty of suanning me for 2 hours non-stop. pek chek. haha.
dinner ended too early to go home... and we ended up at




Clementi KBOX!! and in the same room as last friday!! traumatic. gonna be there again next week to help li wei. haha.

met cai for lunch today too. cuz i was at raffles area for casting in the morn, and happened to be msging cai too so randomly lunched together. sorry i couldnt watch movie with u dude! next week or something la.

oh yes, speaking of which, marv was rite about the movie issue. got about 5 offers to go watch movie but i cant go!!! cuz they all clash with all my appointments! damn.
ah well. not fated lo. alot of things seem not fated these days.

anywayz, met up xav and co after lunch. had a nice long chat at starbucks and discovered a whole lot of stuff i never noticed before. kinda changed my impression about things. ah well, its good now. and prob gonna go church hunting together!!! happening! but if i go with them this sunday then its gonna be at expo. -_-!!! will die travelling there man.

status update:
unstable, but doing well.

haha. oh check this out. *so many things today!! sorry bout the triple posting. feeling a little naggy today.*

Danny just sent me a christian song titled "hope" out of the blue. its a really nice song and kinda matches the events in my life now.

then, just saw this from facebook. "As hard as it might be, now's the time to end a dead-end relationship. it's more effort than its worth, and it's not making u happy, so cut it loose."

haha. ok not that i'm even in any relationship now, but still. pretty ironic la.
let's just wait for a true sign from heaven then. lmaoz.

hey i do want a bf u know. haha.. its always nice to have your own space and everything but nothing beats having that special someone. so i'm off and looking!

if u see any potentials please put me on alert. lmaoz.

cant do anything bout the past but at least do something about my future right? need that control over my life now. its not gonna be ruled by others. If i cant change your mind then at least i can do something else.

lets try see if marv was right about my 2 smses. haha.

gotta meet up with danny tooo.. lots to settle for now. busy busy!!!
so yep, i'll still be super busy and settle everything while i'm single, then see if God blesses me along the way with the one.

gonna go to danny's church this sunday too. :) been a long time and i'm actually quite happy bout going back to church. just hope its the right church this time =)
danny owes me dinner anywayz. hee :p


status update:

what's more to say. single and looking!
just a casual walk along life's road and see what comes along :)

chermini for the day
"if the door u wanna go through is locked, and you have no idea where to get the key, then maybe its time to turn and explore the other routes that are beckoning to you. at least those are the doors you have the key to."

right, just found out today some people other than the frequent few who read my blog. and i actually tot this blog was quite hidden. so,other than xs, genki, marvin,xiu ting, cai, lele and babe katie, just a shoutout to those reading my blog but havent been acknowledged, do let me know who u are. tag or something. sms me if u have to.
cuz i dun wanna accidentally say anything wrong or misleading. :p

been having alot of random thoughts the last few days.

life is really really short and unpredictable. thinking about it, i've really been brooding over lots of issues not within my control at all. and it only makes me feel sadder, more emotional, more stressed.

saw a squashed lizard on the way home today. really gave me the creeps but i was thinking, its about the same with human lives. no one is immortal. so cherish what u've got now cuz it might not be around forever. Do what u wanna do now or u may never get the chance ever again. and then live to regret.

which means, i should just get up and move my ass. its been stuck to the ground for much too long.

chermini horoscope says "if there's not point, then forget there's something called hope" mainly cuz "nothing" is not worth waiting for.

gotta keep myself a constant reminder to not get too emotionally attached or affected. but then again. women are ruled by emotions. *sigh*

either i succumb to mother nature or i believe in the power of the mind.


status update:

cheryl is very confused.

a whole day filled with oweek stuff. but i woke up feeling really happy and light. my mood hasnt been so for the past week. i think its cuz of the dream i had last night.
its amazing how one dream can change my mood so drastically. but i'm happy with the way i feel now. no obligations to anything, no pain, no suffering, not a care that my hopes would be dashed.
it somehow feels like i can accept whatever u say. of course i still get affected, but at least i'm in a better mood today. and i hope this stays.

i like to feel like this. :) just take everything as it goes. no fear!

lots to do too! daniel just called this morning to ask me to stand in for him. then further obligations that he hasnt gotten clearance from marv yet. let him talk to marv himself though.

helping out with dean's evening too cuz its supposed to be seng's charge initially.

oh and dad's back. =) so that means i'll be getting my post 21st bdae dinner with my entire family!!! happening.

didnt manage to celebrate with quite alot of my friends cuz i was in camp. ah well.. too weird to celebrate now too. i dun feel 21 anywayz. ha. glad to at least have a few trusted friends around though!


status update:

and it seems like my dad has major plans for me. gonna get realy busy if things work. so time to start getting independant somemore!!

PS: i'm not as dependant as u think i am. at least i wont die if i stay alone cuz i'm already stayin on my own. :p just gotta work on the emotional part la. heeee ;)