had a super slack day... stayed home and literally didnt do anything for the whole day. then went swimming cuz i didnt want to be at home alone... had dinner at the market near my place. thankfully ryan came to join me... if not i would have died. haha.. was a little down today... talked to ryan and we realised we're quite similar in some aspects. haha.. learning from each other might be good. didnt wanna go home so early so went to a park for a chat. dunno why, thought of alot od things, seng too, and i ended up crying quite a bit. i realise my emotions seem to be very dependant on people close to me. little things affect me alot. too much in fact. i dont know why it affects me so much, i dont know why i care so much. maybe loss has made me afraid. i just dont want to lose anyone close anymore. but it seems like the closer you hold, the further it tries to get away.
i'm tired. i'm tired of feeling sad. i will be happy from now. i'll find something to be happy about everyday. i will be a happy me.

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i thought, unloved people need hugs.
you thought, happiness is what you find.
i said, my greatest fear is loss, especially someone dear to me
you said, you need to be more independant
i felt, i dont want to always feel so emotional
you felt, you needed to be away
i guess, i should just let it be.