i'm back!

first of all, apologies for the very emotionally packed posts while overseas. too much time away from much loved friends does make one emotionally unstable. speaking of which, i realise that this eventful semester has brought me into a totally different depth of emotional trauma. Never ever felt so unstable before. i know myself to be someone who needs time to adapt to new environments, but this, is just a different issue altogether.

i know i need to face up to the truth, that nothing can ever be done. fate has been sealed. yet this nagging feeling never leaves. sometimes it feels like this large empty hole that can never be filled up. losing seng really hurt, and it still does.

the after effects just made me a hell lot more emotionally dependant than ever. my deepest apologies to marvin. i think i made your life hell. but at the same time, thanks for being there all along and never giving up on me. i really dunno what to do without you. really.

and Xiao Shan of course, faithful blog reader and friend.... thanks for the virtual hugs and appreciative comments. it may not seem much to you but little thoughtful gestures like that mean the world to me. HUGSSS** =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

crippled by a fatal accident. it was the crutch that made movement possible, that gave hope of ever walking again. the crutch has been dependable, yet it is weary from the weight of the cripple. maybe its time to try standing, try walking slowly. the legs are still weak, and yearn for the support of the trustworthy crutch. and even if the cripple could walk again, it would miss the crutch too much cuz they went through the most difficult times together. the sentimental value is too great. how's the cripple ever gonna be able to walk but yet keep the crutch by its side?

it seems almost impossible.